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I'm secretary for the Asian Student Association and for Circle K as of the coming fall. yay, that'll look good on my resume. as a freshman, that's pretty good. let's see if i can handle everything. i'm living in Oak Glen, in 8300C. as a girl, i'm lucky to be living there, cause a lot of girls wanted that building..not a lot of guys did though. there are a lot more juniors than sophomores in there, but i'm glad i have a few friends in there already. couple of girl and guy friends. sadly, the group i'm usually with split up. when i brought up that i'm not lookin forward to next year cause it won't be the same, my ex agreed and optimistically added that i should try to make it better. he'll always know to say the right things. yesterday, when i was studying for my last final..soc, my mind was preoccupied with hoping that my ex would say bye to me. he did online, but i kinda wished that i would see him before he left. i was at least happy that he said something to me...not like we totally don't talk, but still. anyway, while i was walking to my final and studying at the same time, i heard my name, and i looked back...it was my ex in the passenger seat of a car, and i just stared at him..not so sure why it took so long to register that it was him. i think i already expected him to have left already, or i was just caught off guard. but then i was more relaxed and satisfied that we saw each other before he left for the summer. i know i'll be livin in the suite next to him in the fall, but still. one day i'll learn to really get over it. i hafta admit i'm making some sort of progress, but not enough. i still cry sometimes, but a few min of quick big tears, and i'm done. i was re-reading part of the entry i wrote bout that bad dream i had, and that was just before my ex broke up with me. i feel like it was a foreshadowing that i didn't pick up on. and it's just a coincidence. i'm writing bout it now, way after we broke up, cause i never actually updated on that. i'm talkin bout my ex, but i never said before that we broke up. yup, the night before asian new year. it was memorable..the whole thing - before, during, after goin out. i think i was lucky to have him and not this asshole as my first boyfriend. exclusive is the way to go. i'm the insecure jealous type, i think..yea. way too sensitive to handle knowin that someone i'm dating is dating other people too. that's what i like bout "going out"..it's just knowing that you have each other and don't hafta share til you break up. i like talkin bout relationships. i feel like when i find that mental connection, it's not fair to have a physical relationship, cause it would ruin things. it'd be too awkward. but when there's a physical relationship, i don't think it's fair NOT to have a mental connection..it's just too bad. i wonder if i'll think i'm naive when i read all this stuff later on. i mean, i'm still fairly young, so i might not really know what i'm talkin bout. chances are that i'll forget bout this blogdrive or anything else that i'm subscribed to online..the fads. i mean, i swear sometimes that i'm already senile. even people i hang around with get that way.. but only when around me. yup, i make people old and forgetful..sometimes stupid......or maybe smart, cause i'm a lot more stupid since i got to college. i found that i sound and am ditzy sometimes too--WhatTheHell! oh yea, i have some blond moments AND some gray moments (gray hair=older..). okay, a lot of people i met this year already figured out i like to tell a lot of corny jokes, and i'm easily amused. but sometimes i take things too seriously too, and i dwell on things. there's more about me, but i thought i'd just put those things out there for now. oh boy, i'm talking a lot again. and i've lost my ability to reflect in story form. oh well. i guess it's just a way for me to talk without seeming like i'm talkin to myself. hi Me! will someone buy me a tricked out car? i prob won't drive it til after i'm 21, but at least it'll look even nicer untouched!..i know nobody will buy me a car, but i just asked anyway. i love lookin at cars! i can't wait til the car show next year for ASA! it's gonna be a grand ol' time! oooh, that reminds me of the beginning of first semester. i put on my away message something like "out with Jack D..we're gonna have a grand ol' time!" and dan asked janet if i was goin out on a date, but really, i was just goin to hang out with some friends in pine dale with a bottle of jack daniel's whiskey. i drank that stuff for three nights in a row..that was during the riots during the world series, i think, or was it before that?? i don't member. anyway, that stuff tasted worse than the cheap vodka! i had some twisted smirnoff watermelon stuff, and that wasn't so bad. but i have sensitive taste buds, so i could still taste the alcohol. i want this iced tea thing that comes in glass bottles. i don't member what kind it was, but it was gooood. don't know if couldn't taste it cause i was gettin a cold or if i was already drunk, but that was the best stuff so far that i've had. ooh and i had a margarita the night before my chem final. i think it had rum. it was a strawberry daiquiri...can't spell. i'm sick of malibu rum..i shouldn't have bought such a big bottle. it's just something to have once in a while..i know that now. anyway, i don't know why i'm talkin bout drinkin. i don't miss it. it feels nice, and sometimes it leads to fun, but sometimes it's just pointless. i dont' think i'll be drinkin much next year. i didn't drink that much during my freshman year, but more than i told myself to. oh, and i wonder if i'll still gamble next year too. prob won't have time. oh well. it's best that i don't get too into these things, or i'll get addicted and won't have control. and i didn't go to college to drink and gamble. i feel like i worked harder than a lot of people, but i still didn't work hard enough. things should change next year for the better. now i must be boring you, as i tend to do. alright. no fancy ending. bye now! |
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